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  Hitler Is Alive!

  Edited by Steven A. Westlake

  MYSTERIOUSPRESS.COM

  Contents

  How Adolf Hitler Remained Alive Until the 1970s: A Police Gazette Primer

  Hitler Is Alive?!

  Exclusive Scoop! Hitler Is Alive!

  Hitler Is Alive!: Second of a Series

  Hitler Is Alive!: Third of a Series

  Hitler Is Alive!: Fourth Installment

  Hitler Is Alive!: Fifth of a Series

  Hitler Is Alive!: Sixth of a Series

  Hitler Is Alive!: Seventh of a Series

  Hitler Is Alive!: New Exclusive Evidence

  The Real Truth About Hitler’s Fake Suicide

  Hitler’s Lovers & Friends

  Loves and Intrigues of Hitler’s Girl Confidant

  Eva Braun’s Diary

  Why Hitler Killed His Best Friend ₀ His Dog

  Hitler’s Mistress Risked Death to Cheat on Der Fuehrer

  3 Women Died for Hitler’s Love

  Eva Braun’s Secret Diary Reveals Hitler’s Strange Love Life

  Hitler’s Family

  The Truth About Hitler’s Children

  “Hitler Is My Father”

  The True Case of Adolf Hitler’s Sisters

  Hitler Was a Jew!

  The Evil Ghost That Haunts Hitler’s Godchildren Today

  Hitler’s Daughter Marries a Jew

  Adolf Hitler’s Daughter Says: My Father Is Still Alive!

  Hitler on the Road

  Hitler Seen Alive!

  Is Peron Hiding Hitler?

  Inside Hitler’s Secret Hideout

  Hitler Is Alive

  Luce Vidi Sees Hitler Alive

  Eva Braun Seen Alive

  Positive Proof: Hitler in Argentina

  The Ever-Looming Threat of the Nazi Party

  Hitler’s Aides Are Shaping the New Germany

  Will Stalin Bomb US with Hitler’s Secret Weapon?

  Hitler’s Secret Agent

  The Secret Behind Nazi Plot to Regain Power

  Hitler Is Alive—Prepares to Return!

  Hitler’s Hand Reaches Back into Germany

  Hitler’s Top Aide Is Alive!

  Inside the New Hitler Nazi Empire!

  If Hitler Came Back Today!

  Hitler Can Now Return

  Hitler & Mussolini: Pen Pals

  The Secret Letters Between Hitler and Mussolini

  The Secret Letters Between Hitler and Mussolini: Second Installment

  The Secret Letters Between Hitler and Mussolini: Part III

  Hitler–Mussolini Letters Reveal the Real Reason Hitler Lost the War

  Hitler–Mussolini Letters Reveal the Secret Fear That Haunted Hitler

  Odds & Ends

  Eichmann’s Capture Spotlights Hitler’s Hideout

  Adolf Hitler’s Fake Suicide!

  Eichmann’s Last Words Reveal Hitler Is Alive: Untold Story of the Nazi Hideout in Argentina

  Hitler Is Alive: Suicide a Fake!

  Hitler Is Alive: New Eyewitness Report of Nazi Hideout …

  The New Manhunt for Hitler and Bormann

  The Secret Hideout of Hitler and His Henchmen

  The End … Or Is It?

  Hitler Still Alive Today: Fuhrer’s Own Doctor Debunks Red Claim

  How Adolf Hitler Remained Alive Until the 1970s

  A Police Gazette Primer

  Nearly two centuries ago, the National Police Gazette made history as North America’s first-ever tabloid. Its groundbreaking, no-holds-barred style changed journalism forever, and it would go on to become one of the continent’s five longest-running periodicals.

  During the 1800s, while the underbelly of America was hidden beneath the skirts of Victorian purity, the Police Gazette delighted in foisting in-your-face stories of adultery, boozing, drug taking, corruption, and gambling onto a shocked public. Tom Wolfe, a literary groundbreaker himself, observed that “Victorian concepts of dignity were simply trampled on in the Police Gazette. … Yet its writers did provide a look at a side of American life that more serious and fastidious writers, including the major novelists of the period, never approached.”

  The Gazette reported it all with a quirky sensibility that is still present in media today. Its graphic pictures and articles were presented with a—not too visible—wink; some sort of punch line was never very far from anything published in the National Police Gazette. So when James Joyce had his characters in Ulysses “giggling over the Police Gazette” he may not have realized how very much to the point this was.

  In the 1880s, for example, the Gazette cheerfully reported on the adventures of its “religious editor.” Whether he was depicted being sexually aroused by the sight of Oscar Wilde’s legs, blown up by an alcohol-soaked minister, or visited by a member of the Society of Clerical Kleptomaniacs, the Gazette’s religious editor always maintained the height of decorum and integrity befitting one of the “Police Gazette species.” Of course, the Gazette had no religious editor. Religious America hated the National Police Gazette with a passion, seeing it as the most dangerous force for the corruption of youth and degradation of the morals of responsible adults the country had yet known.

  This blurring of the distinction between real and fake news correspondents—not to mention real and fake news—became a Police Gazette specialty. The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Sacha Baron Cohen—even the old SPY Magazine—all have a direct ancestor in the National Police Gazette. So it is no surprise that 170 years since it was first published, the Gazette’s keen observation of America has made the magazine hip again.

  Internet humorist Seanbaby recently published his “6 Reasons the ‘Police Gazette’ is the Craziest Magazine Ever” at Cracked.com, which elicited comments ranging from shocked to disgusted to a profound desire for the return of such a “wonderful magazine.” He got the tone just right, as this is exactly the response the Gazette evoked from readers when it was at its best. The closest correlation we have today would be a Howard Stern fan in the 1990s trying to explain to a nonbeliever how Stern really was NOT racist, sexist, or homophobic, and was actually hysterically funny and even provided a valuable service to society.

  Yet, despite its low-brow reputation, a few heavyweight thinkers have tried explaining the Police Gazette over the years. Tom Wolfe is quoted above, while author and editor H. L. Mencken wrote “The Europeans, the English in particular were quick to see through the cheap yokel disesteem in which [the Gazette and its owner Richard K. Fox] were held and to estimate the fellow in the terms of the peculiar genius that was his. … [H]e was regarded on the Continent as the most enterprising, the most audacious and the most thoroughly honest of the American editors of his day.”

  The Police Gazette was the first publication to see through the hypocrisy of the times and give the people what they wanted without the non-load-bearing facade of self-importance. The Gazette mocked self-important posturings in American society with everything from features on corrupt religious leaders in its “Crimes of the Clergy” column to referring to itself with a satiric grandiosity that would make Stephen Colbert blush. “The POLICE GAZETTE first—Our Country next,” declared one religious-editor dispatch.

  Ironic pomposity aside, however, a list of the Police Gazette’s accomplishments r
eads like the Big Bang of pop-culture journalism. The Gazette invented or perfected the illustrated news weekly, the illustrated sports weekly, the newspaper sports department, comprehensive theater & entertainment coverage, the celebrity gossip column, Guinness World Record–style chronicling of crazy human achievement, the mainstream girlie magazine, the men’s lifestyle magazine, and the sensational/tabloid journalism we know today. Joseph Pulitzer, who came to New York six years after Fox began using the Gazette to revolutionize journalism and pop culture, spoke of the substantial influence the Police Gazette had on his own approach to revolutionizing the daily newspaper.

  Of course, a publication like this could not help but also perfect the art of the sensational headline, and article toppers like “Battle with Corpse-Eating Cats” or “Insane Asylum Horrors” kept the pages turning. So it was, six years after the alleged death of the person most directly responsible for the deadliest war in human history, the Police Gazette first presented evidence that “HITLER IS ALIVE!”

  Like Flannery O’Connor’s Misfit, who needed to see the acts of Jesus with his own eyes or else there was “No pleasure but meanness,” the story told to us about how the demise of the worst—or best, if it’s a measure of skill—mass murderer in history is maddening for its lack of our having seen it with our own eyes. Similarly, the bullets of Star Trek’s O.K. Corral gunfighters, though imaginary, could still kill you if you had even one quark-sized bit of doubt that they were not real, illustrating it only takes one tiny crack of doubt to open up a canyon of fear. And riding into that canyon, like a donut salesman at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting, came the National Police Gazette, ready, willing, and able to fill the canyon to overflowing … and then some. If one article about how Hitler escaped death and was planning a comeback was good, then several dozen had to be that much better!

  The Gazette’s coverage of Adolph Hitler began predictably enough. In June 1939, even before the start of the war in Europe, the Police Gazette published an article proving Hitler was a raging homosexual. Then, following oddly little coverage during the war itself—perhaps the real-life absurdities reported daily in the newspapers were enough—a portent of things to come was published in the October 1946 issue. A caption under the photo of a Führer lookalike begins “Is Hitler Dead?” But, except for an article in September 1947, it would be another five years before the Gazette revisited the Hitler subject. And this time it would be revisited with a vengeance.

  For those keeping score, from 1951 to 1968 the Police Gazette published seventy-six Hitler-related articles—including thirteen excerpts from Alan Bullock’s respected biography Hitler: A Study in Tyranny—and featured him on the cover thirty-seven times, not counting a few more covers where his name was only mentioned in small print. During this period, a prominent Hitler grabber appeared on a Gazette cover an average of over twice per year.

  Adolph Hitler being proven alive ended up the longest running gag in the long history of the National Police Gazette—all of it, of course, done with a completely straight face. Journalist and former Gazette employee Edward Van Every had lamented during a weak stretch, “The Gazette ceased to be funny when it started to take itself as a joke.” But his worry during the Hitler series for the most part was dodged, in spite of the increasingly obvious comic device of repeating something to the point of absurdity.

  So at the risk of beating a dead Führer, presented here all in one place for the first time, the collected wisdom of the investigative staff of the National Police Gazette on just what happened to the most notorious figure in a millennium of human history.

  Hitler Is Alive?!

  Our story opens with submarines—mysterious objects under normal circumstances—that suddenly appear off the coast of Argentina in July and August 1945. They are Nazi subs, the U-530 and U-977. Why are they there? And what were they doing for the three months prior to their arrival?

  Besides being Adolph Hitler’s personal physician, who was Dr. Ludwig Stumpfegger? And did he develop a mysterious procedure called the “silk-cord operation” that could temporarily paralyze parts of the human brain? What role might this operation have played in the disappearance of Hitler?

  Did Hitler escape to “a place sufficiently uninhabited, remote, and immense to make it practically impossible to find him?” And what was that place?

  Zombies, epic underwater journeys, ice-palace fortresses of criminal masterminds … It’s all here in the first great blast of Police Gazette Hitler-Is-Alive reporting. Then, as the series was beginning to stretch the reader’s willing suspension of disbelief into the thinness of a bubble, the cavalry comes over the hill in the person of Colonel William F. Heimlich, a high-level member of the first US intelligence team to enter Berlin at war’s end.

  Having been personally involved in the search for Hitler evidence, Heimlich provides the verisimilitude in his own bylined Police Gazette article that had been lacking in some of the previous articles. Heimlich declares “No insurance company in America would pay a death claim on Adolph Hitler.” This imprimatur from a respected former official of the US government gives the Gazette gas and the magazine floors it from that point on.

  The Police Gazette, which showed the way with so many journalistic innovations, here creates the conspiracy theory as Oak Island excavation, a bottomless pit of conjecture that’s impossible to resolve and, by definition, cannot end! Everyone from JFK assassination buffs to 9/11 truthers should bow down and pay homage.

  EXCLUSIVE SCOOP!

  HITLER IS ALIVE!

  Officially Adolph Hitler and his mistress Eva Braun, were reported to have taken their departure from life in a double suicide pact. The bodies, placed in a ditch filled with gasoline, were supposedly burned in the courtyard of the Reichschancellery.

  In this issue the Police Gazette starts publication of the sensational findings of an investigation made throughout Europe and South America by competent investigators into the strange mystery of Adolph Hitler’s alleged death.

  This worldwide investigation has unearthed amazing revelations to displace this theory. Former heads of the Wehrmacht, who are spread all over the world, and certain Nazis, still being sought, were interviewed. The extensive inquiry reached into the far corners of the world.

  So sensational and world-shaking are the results of this probe that the Police Gazette feels obligated to present all the data to its readers in a series of exclusive articles.

  When news of the probe reached Lieutenant Heinz Schaeffer, former commander of the German Submarine U-977, he came voluntarily from Argentina, where he now lives, to the Paris office of the investigators. He was the commander who surrendered to Argentine authorities at Mar del Plata in August, 1945, after having spent three and a half months on a mysterious sea voyage.

  The German naval officer involved denied spiriting Hitler away, but could not—or would not—explain his long and mysterious submarine voyage at war’s end. Nor would he disclose the unexplained luxury condition of one U-boat.

  Lieutenant Commander Schaeffer made the following statement which, incidentally, in no way invalidates the findings which will be presented in these articles.

  “It has been claimed that I carried Adolf Hitler, Eva Braun and Martin Bormann aboard my submarine. That is untrue. Also, I was subjected to lengthy interrogations on this point by the American and British authorities. Finally, the latter accepted my explanations and freed me and my crew.

  “The truth is that I went to Mar del Plata, like the U-530 which preceded us, in order to escape internment.

  “At the time I received command of the U-977, in April 1945, the Russians were approaching Berlin and the Americans already had occupied most of the French ports. My superiors ordered me to Norway. I arrived there the day Admiral Doenitz took over as head of the German Reich. On May 2 we received orders to surface, hoist the white flag, return to our bases and wait there for the Allies.

  “I told my crew that we had two possibilities:

  “(1) to sc
uttle our submarine in the Channel, make for the English coast in our lifeboats and surrender;

  “(2) make for a country which had remained friendly to Germany.

  “Since I had friends in Argentina, I suggested that country which was approved by the crew. Sixteen of the men who were married preferred to return. I put them ashore on the Norwegian coast and then turned the bow of my vessel towards South America.”

  We asked Commander Schaeffer at this point: “Did you have sufficient provisions for such a long voyage?”

  He said, “Yes, only a few days earlier we had taken aboard cases of canned foods at a depot in Denmark.”

  A lucky coincidence, indeed.

  Heinz Schaeffer then went on:

  “I knew that the ocean was patrolled by American planes. For that reason I decided to travel submersed. Our boat was equipped with Schnorkel which enabled us to travel under the surface by using our diesels.

  “We could have lightened our boat by shedding our torpedos. However, I held on to them. I was afraid we might be charged with having sunk ships after the armistice.

  “We traveled submersed for sixty-six days. Sixty-six days of superhuman suffering.

  “My crew of 31 sailors took turns in falling sick.

  “By the time we had left the danger zone they had been reduced to human debris.

  “We surfaced in the vicinity of the Cape Verde Islands.

  “From there on the voyage was pleasant and on August 17 we entered the Port of Mar del Plata.”

  Nobody maintains that Hitler was aboard the U-977. Our staff investigator also established that fact. However, as we shall see very soon, the U-977 as well as the U-530 were stated to play different roles than that of transport vessels.

  The statement of Commander Heinz Schaeffer fails to shed light on several points on which we vainly tried to get satisfactory explanations.

  For instance, is it plausible for a captain to condemn his crew to two months of superhuman suffering—merely to escape captivity?

  On the other hand, the U-977 left Norway May 2 and arrived around July 8 in the vicinity of the Cape Verde Islands. Why did the vessel take two and a half months to reach Argentina? We stress these baffling details, because in the course of the series of articles which starts in this issue, the staff of investigators will present a proper explanation.